Do A U-Turn!

Although I am not old enough to be wise or full of stories that begin with "well when I was in Qatar..." I do know some things. The kind of things I see myself sitting my grandchildren down by the fire and imparting to them. Then, when they are adults this kernel of knowledge will pop into their minds and they will say "Ah yes, Grandma was wise".

So brace yourself for this rocket revelation...Sat Navs are shit.

Sat Navs will abandon you the minute you creep into new territory where you have no clue where the one way system begins. It will bark orders like "DO A U-TURN NOW!" and "TAKE THE THIRD EXIT" when the third exit clearly bares a "NO ENTRANCE" sign. Is Sat Nav trying to send me to a certain death? Was my Sat Nav created in a factory infiltrated by terrorists who chose one single console to reprogramme to give clear kamikaze directions to the owner?

I will my Sat Nav to be kind. Take pity on me! I really don't know where I'm going. Help! I try the quivering bottom lip and as the tears start to prick at my eyes I look longingly at her, hoping the sacred flag will magically appear. She continues to ignore me and requests that I "TURN LEFT" only for me to "TURN LEFT" again - taking me in a circle. What. A. Bitch.

Finally the red mist descends and the expletives spill out quicker than D-list celebrity's boobs at a photo op. Maybe this is part of the kamikaze programming and if operation 'do a U-Turn on a dual carrigeway' fails then plan B is to enrage the driver so much they actually self-combust from pure fury.

No, don't thank me. Please stop with the praise! I know, I know, Woman Writes is wise.