We have a Code Red Situation Folks

In some professions a Code Red usually means danger. CODE RED! Fire spreading to level 20! CODE RED! The bird has flown into the engine! CODE RED! We can't find the snake!

Code Red's are usually an exceptional circumstance, of a rare occurrence. In the case of my professional arena a Code Red situation can strike more times than a professional ten-pin bowler. There is no warning. No Code Amber. We go from dead calm to certain-death blind panic in the same space of time it takes me to email "Oh for fucks sake".

A CRS (Code Red Situation) can erupt over deeply important matters such as:

CODE RED! There is only ONE pint of milk left. I repeat. ONE pint of milk left.
Reaction: Oh SHIT! Strong teas all day? [panic ensues]

Another example?

CODE RED! I need to find the appropriate cultural etiquette for China.

This seems a reasonable request you think? Surely if one is to do business with a foreign land then one must know the appropriate behavioural standards and differences of their culture mustn't one? Not hacking up phlegm after lunch could be deemed a great slight on the host and therefore a lucrative deal goes unsigned. Yes, BUT, what if one's company who one works for doesn't do any sodding business in China? It may make you feel differently towards the reaction to aforementioned CSR:

Reaction: Spend all day Googling and printing off results for useful phrases when in China. Possibly send friend request to random Chinese person on Facebook.

Finally, sometimes (completely out of a dirge of a day) a CSR can create a stellar piece of unintentional comedy:

CODE RED! My trousers have split!
Reaction: Much laughter from myself. The person in question walks around asking every member of the department if they had any sellotape. Ten minutes later witness the unfortunate walk into toilets with huge sellotape dispenser. Much more laughter from myself. A few hours later Calamity Pants requests a stapler. Repeat previous steps substituting 'sellotape' for 'staples'. I have complete hysterical breakdown.