Horror-Scope

I want to come clean. I am an addict. My vice? Horoscopes. It started off as just casual fun then one thing led to another and now I can't start the day without them. Sometimes three or four times a day.

Every morning I feed the habit by checking my online horoscope to find out whether it was worth me getting out of bed this morning or not.

Today, a very reliable source (MSN) told me that I would be very lucky in the property field and therefore should invest. Damn. I only have a few hours left of today to fulfil this prophecy. I mean how many more times is the moon going to be properly aligned with Venus in my income sector?

Choose your horoscope guru wisely. MSN seems quite friendly to Capricorns this year, which is nice after years of growing up with Bliss and Sugar magazine who showed their blatant HATE for Capricorns by the fact the celebrity they would use to represent all us fellow goats was Gary Barlow - post Take That - when he was eating a lot of pies and a national joke.

Geminis take note, the unusually short-armed Russell Grant is not a fan. Best to stick with MSN who today predict that "joining forces with a group of activists gives you courage." Right on brothers and sisters, or rather twins.

A word of warning, Yahoo horoscopes hate everyone. This is their wisdom for me today "Negativity and a critical tone will only serve to alienate you from potential allies." Shut up! What do they know?

If MSN is crack then Michele Knight is Heroin. Although she is a complete life-tease, correctly identifying that you are pre-occupied with a certain issue (bah! Michele would be more specific than that) Let me try again so, your thoughts are pre occupied with those blue shoes you spotted on Wednesday, should you buy them or not? Well Michele? Should we buy them or not? Michele? She's gone. Shoe dilemma guidance can be accessed through a premium rate telephone number. The Knight is wise, and obviously minted.